Little pink box
by Icefelis
Summary: It was the past now, but she never left it behind. She couldn't let it go.
1. Chapter 1

Disclamer: Card captor Sakura don't and will never belong to me.  
  
Well, I have written this on a whim at midnight, so tell me what you think.I am sorry for any mistake but English isn't my first language and as I have no one to double check me well.  
  
Little pink box  
  
She couldn't let it go.  
  
How could she? It was the only time when the pain left.  
  
They were the only memories where she was happy. No more.  
  
It was the past now, but she never left it behind. It still lived on in her heart, like a bleeding wound, reminding her of what was lost, of better times.  
  
It was different then. She was someone else, someone she isn't today; herself.  
  
All those memories, they were tormenting her. Not in her sleep, no, her dreams were expressing other torments; the pain that is making her prisoner of this past. No, the memories were always there: when she walked in this city, the one she had left behind, when she saw children coming out of school, laughing, when she saw young blossoming love...everytime...everywhere.  
  
How could she live like this? Would have things been the same if she had made other choices? Why couldn't she let go? No regrets they had promised to each other when they had to split ways, each person of their little group going towards their dreams, their future.  
  
It isn't the end they had all promised, our friendship is strong and will live on they had vowed. How could they have known? How childish, how innocent... Like the others, she hadn't known things could change so fast, how one could miss the past days so much, the sunny smiles, the sweet naive proofs of friendship, the warm feeling of comfort, the sleepless nights of talking and even crying.  
  
It was not to be again. Things had changed so much. But still, memories tormented her, even though she lived on. Why couldn't she let it go? Move on? Put it in the good memories to keep you warm inside on rainy days? Now, older, somehow wiser but having lost this hope and faith, this twinkle in her eyes. Not cold, never cold, still smiling all the time, still beautiful, still talented, but now lost in the past.  
  
Funny, she hadn't thought she would be the one like this, the one wanting to go back to those days, even with the loss it include. She hadn't thought she would watch all those memories in her head and tell them to no one in particular with a lost stare in her eyes. No more.  
  
She had found a way to live on with her life: putting the memories in a box and keeping them at bay so they wouldn't torment her in the harsh light of the day. Make new memories to keep you warm inside and move on, let go of the past, stop the bleeding inside. Maybe when it will be scarred, she will be able to open the little pink coloured box and look at the memories without getting lost.  
  
Looking around as she walked down the street of Tomoeda, 27 year old Tomoyo recalled everything, putting it in the specially made box. Maybe they were right, maybe you could never go back home 


	2. chapter 2

Disclaimer: Card captor Sakura doesn't and will never belong to me.  
  
Well, this is the following chapter of pink little box. It should clear some things up, explain many things. =) I'll be using the Canadian school system to explain things..  
  
Chapter 2  
  
You could never go back home. Maybe it was the truth. Each place brought up a new memory to store up in the little pink box as Tomoyo glanced around, not wanting to recall everything but still compelled to do so.  
  
Best friends forever. Never forget our bond, our friendship, our love. Keep in touch. See each others as often as possible. They didn't know otherwise, they thought it would be forever.  
  
Breathe in. Don't stop breathing. Don't drown in all the bittersweet memories, don't lose yourself even more. Walk on, don't stay here, lost in all your remembrances, she told herself, all the memories rushing at her, making her numb at once from all the pain.  
  
Their old elementary school. Choking. Losing grip. Looking at the place, she recalled their first promise, the one they had been able to keep; stay together in high school, be a group of friends through the changes and dilemmas of this stage of their life. If only.. Why then could they not keep this promise when they left high school to go on the next step of their lives?  
  
A memory. All of them, together, receiving their diplomas. So much hope for the future. All of them smiling, hugging each other, happy to have been able to do it, to have been through all the hard spots, all the heartaches, all the new experiences. She still had flashes of her first love, her first kiss, her first real quarrel with Sakura, her first party, her first hangover...Everything. They had been so eager to finish their high school and get on with their lives. She could still feel the illusion of exhilarating joy that covered some kind of sadness they refused to see. They had all moved on, put the whole five years they had spent together as the past, the end and the beginning of something else. Why not her too?  
  
Tomoyo walked on through the streets of a city she never wanted to see again.  
  
Another memory. The exciting yet tearful summer when they had to say goodbye. They had used every moment to make memories. Their last time together before everyone split ways. They had come together each time they could. Maybe they knew somewhere deep inside it wouldn't last, that a simple vow would not be enough to keep them all together. She could still remember who went away first. Eriol returned to England once more as Syaoran followed suit and went back to China. The rest of them? Well, they all chose different schools in different cities. But before it happened, how much fun they had; they lived this summer as if it was the last. Maybe in a sense it was after all.  
  
A memory. All the letters, the come together, the phone calls, the e-mails. They had tried. It was so much fun telling each others how things were in their new lives. It was so wonderful at first, even trough the distance, their friendship still lived on. But then, the letters and the phone calls became more and more sparse. She couldn't remember whose fault it was. Maybe it was the fault of everyone after all. It was then the darker side of her emerged. It was then she got lost in the memories, that she became incapable of letting go. It was then that she started changing.  
  
Things evolved to become worse from there. She changed so much, she came to be someone else, someone she didn't want to be, that she fought all the way not to become. It was too hard to do so, it seems, she thought, closing her eyes as she walked by the penguin slide. So many memories within this place. All the late night walks, the secret dates with boys, the card capturing days even. Inside her, the pink little box shook and trashed as a sharp jab of pain made itself known. Still she recalled everything, she had to do this.  
  
God, she thought, let me be free, give me the strength to let go. After that, she had lived on, studying, learning, becoming what her mother wanted her to be. How they had fought about this when she was a teenager, all the screaming and the tears. She understood now. Her mother wanted her to be happy, to be spared from the pain she herself had to go through. Tomoyo could still recall how she strived so hard, how she lived without actually doing so. Other memories rushed in her head and to the pink box.  
  
Glancing up, she saw her destination. Walking to the front door, she rang the bell, waiting patiently, closing the lid of the little pink box inside of her for now. Slowly, the door opened to reveal an auburn haired green eyed woman who nodded at Tomoyo, silently asking her to come in. As she did so, she met the eyes of people, people she knew before but didn't know now. It was time for her to have new memories, with those persons that had changed so much. Maybe then she could come back home.  
  
The end  
  
Well, that's it. Let me know what you think please. 


End file.
